sexuality & gender

Sexual orientations and gender identity are not new. The language that’s used by people to identify themselves has changed over time, but people with many different sexual orientations and gender identities have existed for centuries in societies around the world. Even though they’re often referred to together, sexuality isn’t the same as gender identity.

Sexuality – what is it?

Sexual orientation is about who you want to have relationships with and who you’re physically and emotionally attracted to.

There are many sexual orientations. You might identify with one of the sexual orientations below, or another sexual orientation might sit more comfortably with how you feel.

People who are attracted to people of the same sex often call themselves gay. Gay women may call themselves lesbian.
People who are attracted to people of a different sex often call themselves heterosexual or straight.
People who are attracted to both women and men often call themselves bisexual (or bi).
People who are attracted to people of any sexual orientation or gender might call themselves pansexual (or pan).
People who do not feel sexually attracted to anyone might call themselves asexual.
While some young people are certain about their sexual orientation, others aren’t so sure and it can be normal to question your sexual orientation.
If you are feeling worried or unsure, be patient and trust your feelings. Accept that your romantic and sexual feelings toward others may change as you begin dating and having relationships, but eventually, you’ll know what feels right.

Gender identity – what is it?

Gender identity refers to your sense of your own gender. You might feel that your gender is female or male, or you might feel that your gender identity doesn’t fit naturally into either of these two categories. Some people don’t think it’s necessary to define themselves with a gender.
Your gender identity may or may not be the same as your sex at birth (this is your sex based on your physical body at birth).
People who feel that the sex at birth doesn’t sit comfortably with their self-identified gender might describe themselves as trans.
People whose gender is male and who were born female might describe themselves as trans men.
People whose gender is female and who were born male might describe themselves as trans women.
People who feel that their gender identity doesn’t fit comfortably into the categories of either ‘male’ or ‘female’ might describe themselves as non-binary or genderqueer.
There are lots of non-binary identities. Some non-binary people might feel that their gender identity is a mix of being both male and female, or that it is somewhere in between, moves between the two, or is something completely different.

You can’t choose your sexual orientation or gender identity and no one else can tell you what your sexual orientation or gender identity is, only you know how you feel. If you are exploring your own identity, know that there is help available to guide you.

Although sexuality and gender identity are important, they are only a part of what makes up a whole person. People of all sexual orientations and gender identities deserve to be accepted and treated with respect.

Other useful terms

LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer (or questioning) and ‘plus’, which includes other sexual identities.

Pride – Pride refers to a worldwide movement and philosophy asserting that LGBTQ+ people should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity. June is Pride month and many events are held all over the world to recognise the impact that LGBTQ+ people have had, and to promote equality and tolerance.

Ally – An ally is (usually) a person who takes action to support members of the LGBTQ+ community.